How to Help a Friend Navigate Grief During the Holidays

Young sad man spending Christmas Eve alone at home.

“I think the holidays are about “togetherness” and we have that Hallmark image of the perfect family.

When a loved one has died, all of the messages are about “togetherness” and yet the person you want to be together with is no longer here.”

– David Kessler

For many people, the holiday season is a special time of year marked by celebrations and gatherings with family and friends. For those struggling with the death of a loved one, the holidays may be a difficult time full of painful reminders that emphasize their sense of loss. Often, peers of those affected by a loss are unsure how to act or what to say to help a grieving friend during the holidays. Our bereavement coordinators, who are experts at helping people deal with grief and loss are here to offer some suggestions.

9 Ways to Support & Comfort a Grieving Friend During the Holidays

Be supportive of the way the person chooses to handle the holidays. Some may wish to follow traditions; others may choose to avoid customs of the past and do something new. It’s okay to do things differently.
Offer to help the person with decorating or holiday baking. Both tasks can be overwhelming for someone who’s grieving.
Offer to help with holiday shopping. Running errands and sharing catalogs or online shopping sites may be helpful.
Invite the person to join you or your family during the holidays. You might invite them to join you for a religious service or as a guest at a holiday meal.
Ask the person if he or she is interested in volunteering with you during the holidays. Doing something for someone else — such as helping at a soup kitchen or working with children — may help your loved one feel better about the holidays.
Donate a gift or money in memory of the person’s loved one. Remind the person that a loved one is not forgotten.
Never tell someone that he or she should be “over it.” Instead, give the person hope that, eventually, the holidays will be enjoyable again.
Be willing to listen. Active listening from friends and family is an important step to helping someone cope with grief and supports healing.
Remind the person you’re thinking of him or her and the loved one who died. Cards, phone calls, and visits are meaningful ways to stay in touch.

In general, the best way to help a grieving friend during the holidays is to let them know you care and that their loved one is not forgotten.

Our bereavement coordinators are a valuable resource and are here to help those struggling with grief and loss during the holidays. If you need support, consider attending one of our support groups listed here, or contact the bereavement team at (888) 789-2922.